I admit it. I’m a workaholic…which seems weird to me because it’s not like I go looking for work, I just always seem to be doing it. I can’t engage in activities I enjoy, or pick up the dusty hobbies I once enjoyed because well, there’s just too much to do. When others recreate, I sigh longingly and shake my head. “Too bad I have to work.”
Now, to be fair, I am currently holding 3 separate jobs. Well, 2 and a half but plus 2 very time-intensive “extracurricular activities.” Aside from my 9-5, I have two part-time consulting gigs, and I sit on the Board of two nonprofits–neither of which are in the city I live in.
So I’m busy, yes. But there must be a reason why I am uncomfortable in between my scheduled work times…or why I am spending a Saturday night “catching up” on work.
Workaholism is like alcoholism in that those afflicted with it can rarely see their own problem. A trip to dictionary.com defines workaholic as, “a person who works compulsively at the expense of other pursuits.” I would add to this that the workaholic is one who “enjoys” work to the point where anything “enjoyable” must be an accomplishment of some kind. The workaholic derives pleasure and satisfaction from accomplishment. This may be why a workaholic can read books for “reading pleasure” but not watch TV. Being able to say you finished a book is an accomplishment–a feather in your cap and an addition to the list of books one’s read. The same thing is not as easily attributable to non-educational TV watching or other passive activities.
A workaholic may also have difficulty listing what they like to do. They find work comforting and the unstructured time, unpleasant. A picnic or day at the beach is fine, but a disruption in the routine which does not allow for a planned recreational activity or a substitute last-minute meeting is, well, not.
Ask an 12-year-old what he likes to do, and he will tell you: play video games, have a lot of fun, watch TV, curl up with a good book. Many adults will answer the same way. A workaholic has difficulty “relaxing,” and may find “relaxation” in rote activities such as organizing, checking email, or cleaning.
Workaholics rely on others–or accident–to lead them to recreation or fun. They can have fun, but they’re not generally good at initiating it. This is also a reason why single workaholics tend to stay single. They are happiest when they have just finished working on something, but will quickly move on to their next task. Even eating is seen as a task to be accomplished. The upshot is that they are generally happy at work. But that’s about it.
On the other hand, turbulence at work can lead to major depression and the loss of a job is devastating because happiness is tied to feelings of accomplishment which fuels self-worth, which are all caused by work.
In earlier posts I have commented on Cat’s lack of work habits. But she never fails to amaze at her ability to just…sit. She doesn’t feel the need to do anything. And I often wonder what she is thinking of when she just sits there contentedly–not having to do anything, not wanting to do anything. People don’t do this. People must intentionally sit quietly. We even have a name for it: meditation…and it’s not easy to do! We do the opposite. We multitask. I once was meditating alongside a woman who had to run to her purse every few moments to write down something she thought of–probably something from work which was important and she thought she would not remember it later. She totally missed the point of the meditation, and yet so many of us are similarly guilty.
Workaholics Anonymous (based in Menlo Park–LOL) has 2o questions to help you diagnose yourself:
“How Do I Know if I’m a Workaholic?
- Do you get more excited about your work than about family or anything else?
- Are there times when you can charge through your work and other times when you can’t?
- Do you take work with you to bed? On weekends? On vacation?
- Is work the activity you like to do best and talk about most?
- Do you work more than 40 hours a week?
- Do you turn your hobbies into money-making ventures?
- Do you take complete responsibility for the outcome of your work efforts?
- Have your family or friends given up expecting you on time?
- Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won’t otherwise get done?
- Do you underestimate how long a project will take and then rush to complete it?
- Do you believe that it is okay to work long hours if you love what you are doing?
- Do you get impatient with people who have other priorities besides work?
- Are you afraid that if you don’t work hard you will lose your job or be a failure?
- Is the future a constant worry for you even when things are going very well?
- Do you do things energetically and competitively including play?
- Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop doing your work in order to do something else?
- Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?
- Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep or when others are talking?
- Do you work or read during meals?
- Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?
If you answer “yes” to three or more of these questions you may be a workaholic.”
RC diagnosis tools:
Step 1: Track your time. How much time do you spend doing what?
Step 2: Write a list of your priorities and make sure that the top priority gets the most amount of time in your new schedule, be sure to think about possible priorities like “being healthy” or “being rested”;
Step 3: Compile a new schedule that builds in time for your priorities;
Step 4: For nebulous steps like being healthy or rested, compile a list of things you like to do that would help achieve these goals. When you come across one, write it down on a list so you remember to come back to it.
Step 5: Think about your bucket list, or things you want to do before you die. How are you going to put time into your life to do these things? They don’t plan themselves, you know.
Step 6: Do not force fun upon yourself. Just be mindful of the things you enjoy while you are enjoying them and make a note to enjoy those things again.
Step 7: Be in the moment. Savor simple experiences instead of always thinking of what is coming next. Enjoyment and contentment can be simple…in fact, they must be simple.
Just take it from Cat.